10/13/09

Sex Essentials for Teens

 For teens, the mere thought of sex can be overwhelming. There is so much to think about, so much to worry about, and so much that can go wrong. Whether you are sexually active or not, knowing the facts about what sex is, and what it is not, is very important.

Sex is...

  • both physical and emmotional in nature
  • risky; you can get pregnant, catch a sexually transmitted infection, have your heart broken or your ego bruised, or feel let down and disappointed when it is over
  • a milestone; you only get one chance to lose your virginity
  • sensitive; be sure that the timing is right for you and your partner
  • not to be taken lightly or treated as recreation
  • best when it is a personal expression of caring between two people
  • messy and full of strange, sometimes embarassing noise

Sex is NOT...

  • a way to make somebody love you or make a commitment to you
  • a test of your love for your partner
  • a measure of how mature or grown up you are
  • a good way to get back at your parents or assert your independence
  • a leisure activity
  • always fun or enjoyable, sometimes you will wonder if it was really worth it

Being Sexually Active

If you are sexually active there are some important things you should know about the sex act itself. There is so much more to think about than whether or not you are doing it right but this is the thing people tend to worry about the most. Rest assured that there really is no right or wrong way to have sex.
When it comes to see one thing that people should think about but rarely do is the law. There are age of consent laws surrounding how old you have to be in order to have sex and what constitutes consensual sex. There are even laws about the kind of sex acts you can engage in.

Must Know Facts About Sex

Unless you want to get pregnant, and you shouldn't want this if you are a teen, birth control is a must.


The only protection against STIs for sexually active people is a barrier method like a condom. This is a safe sex must even if you are using something else for birth control.


Oral sex is still sex and some STIs, including HIV and AIDS, can be transmitted orally. A barrier method, like a condom or dental dam, must be used for this type of sex as well.

If your partner is under the age of consent, intoxicated or under the influence of drugs, pressured or threatened in any way, or asks you to stop at any point, you CAN NOT legally engage in sex. Any or all of these scenarios could result in your being charged with rape.

You can get pregnant or catch an STI the very first time you have sex, even if you use protection. It is always a risk.

Birth control and STI protection must be used properly to be effective. Missed pills and doubled up condoms are the most common misuse of birth control and can result in pregnancy or STI transmission.

There is no right or wrong way to have intercourse but if it hurts, or if it doesn't feel right emotionally, you should stop right away.

The Sex Checklist

If you are going to have sex you must have:
  • a willing partner who is legally able to consent to sex
  • effective and properly used birth control
  • STI protection, a male or female condom
  • realistic expectations about what having sex will mean for you
  • a safe place to engage in sex
  • the maturity to understand that sex has emotional and physical consequences
  • respect and trust between you and your partner

The Dos and Don’ts of Sex Education for parents

Do allow your child to take sex education courses in school. You may not agree with everything that is taught, but you can use what they learn in school as a starting point.

Do not harp, embarrass, or nag your child about their sex education class. Use teachable moments. Bringing it up at the dinner table may not be a good idea either.

Do keep the lines of communication open with your child. You’ll need to discuss tough topics from time to time. If you and your teen are used to having conversations on a daily basis, it will be easier to talk about anything you need to.

Do not think that what your child learns about sex at school is enough. It isn’t. Children today are bombarded with negative and inaccurate sexual images through the media and their peers. Be there to help keep your child on the right track.

Do speak to your child’s school about what they are teaching and the sexual education curriculum. Ask to see the text book and go over the lesson plans if you are concerned.


Do not argue with your child over matters of opinion. Our sexuality has some gray areas and each generation has its own opinions. Respect your child’s opinions. Enjoy the fact that they are growing up and have the ability to have opinions, even when they don’t agree with your own.

Do keep in touch with your child’s sex education teacher, but do not be too much of a PITA. It won’t be easy, but it will be worth it.

How to give oral sex like a pro?(for guys)

Cunnilingus – it can be a daunting task for an amateur. So how can you go from being Average Joe to an oral Pro? Learn what separates the two.

What Joe does: 
First, Joe makes a bee line for the clit. He either just learned what it is and can’t wait to try it out, or he is trying to get her going as fast as he can so he can get up in there. It may get her off, but there’s no real wow factor.
However, Joe takes some risks if he tries to impress. He has heard that teasing a woman makes her cum harder, but that’s as well versed as he is in the female orgasm. Level 2 Joe makes the worst mistake a man can make – he quits right as she is on the brink of getting off. This does not make her cum harder; this makes her stop cumming all together. It takes a lot of work for a woman to reach orgasm, so if you send her back to Go without letting her collect the proverbial $200, it’s doghouse-city for you, buddy.

What the Pro does:
The Pro takes his time, making it about the sensual experience in its entirety, not just the cunnilingus. He spends time with her breasts, licking and sucking her nipples. Women have varying degrees of sensitivity in their nipples. Some have next to none, while others have reported orgasms simply through breast feeding. For the most part, stimulation of the nipples is like a direct line to the clitoris.
Next the Pro will move to the belly, kissing around her navel. He moves to the inner thighs, brushing his lips across the highly sensitive skin. If the nipples were properly stimulated before, the breath near that area, or the accidental brush with his nose, can get her almost overwhelmingly hot before his tongue even grazes the clit.
The Pro not only knows where the clit is located, but he knows how to work it. It is important to move the vaginal lips aside in order to properly access the clit. The clitoris is oblong and smooth, and it looks like it sort of opens up into the vulva. The part where it opens up is the money spot. More specifically, the upper left-hand part of this money spot is the jackpot spot. There is a highly concentrated grouping of nerve endings that, when properly stimulated will send her to la-la land in under two minutes.
The most important thing the Pro knows is when to tease and when to please. He knows his partner well enough to know at which point he needs to stop beating around the bush, so to speak, and just finish her off. Until you master this – and it varies with each woman, so it requires getting to know her specifically – don’t stray from the clit once you’re there. Otherwise, you better hope she’s not wearing stilettos when she kicks you in the kidney

10/12/09

Some Myths about SEX

1. Men want sex more than women do
Wrong. The reason why men tend to wishfully prod their penises into our determinedly turned backs, isn't just to do with desire. Other factors have a big influence, too: For example, we're still more likely to do most of the housework on top of holding down a job. So we're exhausted! Plus, hormones make us feel like having a lot of sex during certain times of the month, rather than all of the time. And, because we tend to attach more emotions to sex than men do, we aren't going to beg him for action if he's been giving us attitude.


2. If you're a truly great lover, you should know how to please anyone
It's extremely likely that someone who knows a lot about sex and has had lots of practice is going to be better in bed than an inexperienced virgin. Technically, that is. However, if you're crazy about said inexperienced lover (physically or emotionally)—oh, and if he has a double-jointed tongue—it might be the best sex you've ever had. “Good sex” has as much do to with perception and the brain as technique and the genitals.


3. African-American men have bigger penises
Okay, this one's a bit out of left field, but fascinating nonetheless because, guess what: It's true! African-American guys are bigger, and their penises are thicker, too. One study of Asian, Caucasian and African-American men came up with the following stats: Asian men were smallest, averaging 4-5.5 inches, Caucasians came next with 6 inches, and the penises of African-American men are reportedly 6.5-8 inches long.


4. Happy couples have good sex most of the time
Right, and my neighbor's buying me a private jet for my birthday. Show me a couple that's having out-of-control, raging, lusty sex every night after years of sharing the same bed, and I'll show you a pig that can fly. Toss this one out of the window immediately! Life and all its pressures get in the way for all of us. Does it mean your friend is lying if she claims to have fabulous sex after five years of marriage and two kids? Maybe. Or maybe she thinks you have a great sex life and doesn't want to admit she doesn't. Or maybe her definition of great sex is different than yours. Or maybe she really does have terrific sex… once a month. It's all subjective.


5. If you have to plan sex, and it isn't spontaneous, something's wrong
Heaven help your partner if you believe this one. Desire might well tap you on the shoulder in the early stages of a relationship, but the hormones that fuel the tapping disappear after about 18 months. Well, if you're lucky actually; plenty of couples find desire lowers dramatically after about nine months. But don't panic. It doesn't mean you'll never fancy each other again; it just means that you need to keep reminding your body and brain how much you enjoy sex. Spontaneous sex is usually good sex. But planning a sex session—anticipating it, looking forward to it—this makes for pretty good sex as well.